There they are, looking at me, while I work in the garden. They are ‘the three elves’ looking somewhat bedraggled now as they work away in my garden , with their worn out tools. They have been a part of the family for over thirty years now, but I cannot let myself part with them.
I bought them for my dad, one Christmas, to put in his garden around 1990. He laughed at them and I am not so sure he really ever wanted elves. Every year he faithfully placed those elves in his garden to be his work companions. It really was not because he loved elves, but because he loved me. I always knew that !

After nineteen years in Dad’s garden , in 2009 when my parents’ house was sold, I brought the three elves to my home, where they have worked with me, in my garden. It is not so much because I love elves either, but because I loved Dad , and they were his elves. I almost did away with them in 2018 because we were moving to another house, and it would be a new garden. Who wants old elves anyways? Still I could not bring myself to discard the three elves.

I discard or give away many old things ….clothes, furniture, toys, decorations, but not the elves. Their connection to the garden gives these elves special status. They stay, year after year. I suppose it is because they represent my love of gardening and this common bond I shared with Dad. I feel a connection with Dad when I am hoeing the garden and I smile when I see the elves. It is bitter sweet.


Grief is a strange companion. We want it to go away , but at the same time we want it to linger. The elves make me both sad and happy . They are a reminder of my grief. They are a reminder of my dad’s love ….so I want them to stay, just as I want my grief to stay . Grief is so intense at first ….we just want it to go away . Eventually, it lightens , and stays with us, like a gentle wave, coming and going. It is a reminder of those we loved , whom we never want to forget

So for today , the three elves will stay, and work with me in the garden. My grief will come and go, like the steady companion it has become. It will be more intense on Fathers Day, when others, who still have their dad’s, post their happy photos on Facebook. We older ones, who no longer have our dad’s will post our memories, and then go outside to tidy the garden, with the elves.